THE ENEMY IN ME

I had never been wholly recovered from what I lost. I never had an amount of self satisfaction after I completely turned into ashes when I stagger down into my own pit hole. Indeed, what transform a soft heart into arrogance and being hilarious to sarcasm is perhaps an experience that one wished they never had - an event that turned a rich man into a pauper.

Losing ones sanity is more than a bankruptcy. Sprawling focus drives towards downfall. I could have blame destiny which has brought me to where I am today, and if I could wish to turn back time, I wouldn’t trudge the road that led me here. I may even sound regretful, for what sense would it make to rejoice?

Some say, it’s not how many times you fall but for how many times you stood up every time you fall…True… Idealistic yet inspiring… However, I stood up and become a different person. I turned into a demonist. It’s as if, I lost the reason to love again. I impound the trust and somehow learned to delete what happiness means. Now the question is: how many times you changed every time you stood up?

I stood up once more after a torment storm. I may have depleted my self-esteem and becomes a man on the background; I somehow believe that I could gain back what I had invested. I may have lost the game – even if I played it well but I would be able to defeat them when I would be able to regain strength after losing grip.

I wouldn’t return for retaliation but instead I will be back to stand before you and say: “I BECOME EVEN STRONGER WHEN I LOST YOU”…